It has been few days since I have been on here, but I am so happy I am going to California for a few days. I always get excited to go to California. I get to work with some of the smartest people I have ever met. I love the feeling of leaving knowing that I learned something. I wouldn't say that it is a mentor/student thing. It is more like a group of peers that want to see this book succeed. I feel like I am one lucky person to have these amazing people in my life.
I have met some very interesting people in Chicago in the last week and appreciate the great conversation that came out of meeting them. I felt I got even more inspired to keep writing and make an even better book. I never realized how many people come from crazy religious backgrounds. I love sharing stories and experiences. I have really tried to open my mind when I have a conversation to realize that everyone has a story. Those stories really define who we are and where we are going.
I am so excited to work on the book, but I am also excited to get out of this freezing weather. I can't stand the winter weather. I know there is not a heat wave, but 70 degrees is better than 18 degrees. I am looking forward to posting what I learn and experience while I am in Los Angeles. I am sure there will be some great stories. I will take a few pics this time since I didn't take any last time. Chat with you all soon.
January 26, 2010
January 20, 2010
Let's Skip The Date And Just Have Sex
First, I have to say that this blog title came from my friend Michael after hours of laughter over our horrible dating experiences. I won't share names of those we dated or those who never even made it that far. Let's face it dating sucks and people act like they are someone they aren't on a date or they act like they are from another planet.
I guess what really started me thinking about how much I hate dating is when I started talking about a blind date I was set up on. I realized from that moment on I could live the rest of my life without going on another date. Just to clarify I did not say I didn't want to be in a relationship this post is only about dating. There is a huge difference. So, back to the blind date... my friend at the time said she had the perfect guy for me so I thought what the hell. I wasn't "dating" anyone at the time so I said ok. Since, I had never met the person in my life we decided to go on a double date. The 3 of them were already friends so they came to my place to pick me up. I know this is going to sound caddy, they arrived at my door and I was like ok this is interesting. Not really my type physically, but I will give it a try. So, we decided to go to a bar in my neighborhood before dinner. Not only was he not really my cup of tea. He was probably one of the most boring and hard to talk to people I have ever met. I had to make a decision at that point of what to do. It was a little late to fake an illness so I decided I would get as drunk as possible hoping that it would just go better. Well, not so much I was drunk alright. We left the bar to go to dinner. I walk out into the street and get hit by a cab. I probably would have been hurt really bad had it not been for all the cocktails. lol It wasn't what I had in mind for getting out of the date, but it sure as shit worked. Mark my word that will be my first and last blind date I will ever go on.
There is so much more about dating that is horrible. What about the people that you go on a date with that seem perfectly normal at first. You go on a couple of dates then they think that they need to call or text you every 5 minutes. I'm not really into stalkers after 2 dates.
I also appreciate going on dates with people that seem perfectly normal and once you are at dinner and show any interest they find the need to tell you that they are in love with you and you haven't even ordered your drink or appetizer. Please, what the fuck is wrong with people. There is another extreme to that, what about the people who ask you to "hang out" or go to dinner who already had multiple partners at home that didn't know that they were asking people out on dates.
I'm not sure why dating needs to be so stupid. I compare stories with people and I am not the only one. I think dating should be fun. I have been bringing up this subject on occasion just to get other people's take on dating and I have heard some crazy dating stories. It seems like dating has turned into a mess. What ever happened to going out and having a good time.
My favorite reaction to the whole dating thing was Michael. He didn't seem to like dating any more than me. His philosophy simple... "Let's skip the date and just have sex." haha!!
I guess what really started me thinking about how much I hate dating is when I started talking about a blind date I was set up on. I realized from that moment on I could live the rest of my life without going on another date. Just to clarify I did not say I didn't want to be in a relationship this post is only about dating. There is a huge difference. So, back to the blind date... my friend at the time said she had the perfect guy for me so I thought what the hell. I wasn't "dating" anyone at the time so I said ok. Since, I had never met the person in my life we decided to go on a double date. The 3 of them were already friends so they came to my place to pick me up. I know this is going to sound caddy, they arrived at my door and I was like ok this is interesting. Not really my type physically, but I will give it a try. So, we decided to go to a bar in my neighborhood before dinner. Not only was he not really my cup of tea. He was probably one of the most boring and hard to talk to people I have ever met. I had to make a decision at that point of what to do. It was a little late to fake an illness so I decided I would get as drunk as possible hoping that it would just go better. Well, not so much I was drunk alright. We left the bar to go to dinner. I walk out into the street and get hit by a cab. I probably would have been hurt really bad had it not been for all the cocktails. lol It wasn't what I had in mind for getting out of the date, but it sure as shit worked. Mark my word that will be my first and last blind date I will ever go on.
There is so much more about dating that is horrible. What about the people that you go on a date with that seem perfectly normal at first. You go on a couple of dates then they think that they need to call or text you every 5 minutes. I'm not really into stalkers after 2 dates.
I also appreciate going on dates with people that seem perfectly normal and once you are at dinner and show any interest they find the need to tell you that they are in love with you and you haven't even ordered your drink or appetizer. Please, what the fuck is wrong with people. There is another extreme to that, what about the people who ask you to "hang out" or go to dinner who already had multiple partners at home that didn't know that they were asking people out on dates.
I'm not sure why dating needs to be so stupid. I compare stories with people and I am not the only one. I think dating should be fun. I have been bringing up this subject on occasion just to get other people's take on dating and I have heard some crazy dating stories. It seems like dating has turned into a mess. What ever happened to going out and having a good time.
My favorite reaction to the whole dating thing was Michael. He didn't seem to like dating any more than me. His philosophy simple... "Let's skip the date and just have sex." haha!!
January 17, 2010
Slut Or Cunt...
There are a couple of words that we use all the time. Well, if you have a foul mouth like me you do. I find both the word slut and cunt very interesting. I have my thoughts and views on both words. I often find them very funny and yes I have been called both. I also use both words.
First, what is slut? Why is it usually only a word used toward a woman? Is it bad to be a slut? The best definition of a slut is someone who is sexually promiscuous. Typically referring to women. I have stated many times before that I think women can be ruthless bitches and by no means is this post because I am some feminist that think only women rule the world. I think there is a need for both sexes, and frankly the world boring without men. Women are considered sluts if they sleep around and men are considered cool. What? Women are sluts if there clothes are too tight and skirts are too short and men are just considered to have made a bad wardrobe choice. What the fuck? Sluts are sluts... if you are sexually promiscuous you are sexually promiscuous. It doesn't matter if you have a penis or a vagina. Is it bad to be a slut? Who decides what is right or wrong anyway? Who decides what moral compass we should follow? I think those are just rhetorical questions I have been asking myself lately. The questions are probably less about being a slut and more about who makes the rules we follow sexually. Is it the church we belong to (just to clarify I do not belong to a church), our parents, god, our friends that decide the morals we follow? I frankly believe our morals come from a combination of all or some of the above. I also want to point out that I am not suggesting to go out and be crazy and have unprotected sex. I think everything should be safe. I am saying that I think a lot of who we are is decided by other people's values. What makes their values right for you or me?
Now, I am going to talk about the word cunt! As one have my favorite gay boys said "cunts are nasty." lol I am not saying that they are but it is another word used toward woman in a negative way. I wonder again if guys can be cunts. I realize the true definition of a cunt is referring to a woman's genitalia. Now, with that alone it probably shouldn't be used toward men. In the everyday world we use it to say that someone is being more than just a bitch. Now, I know a lot guys and yes they can be cunts as well. I actually hate the word, but sometimes it is the best description for people that are rude ignorant assholes. I know when I am really pissed at another woman I will use the word cunt and you know that it is serious business. I am not saying it is right I am saying it just gets the point across. It is like a secret code when a woman says it to another woman to "back the fuck up bitch" by just using one word. I have decided that I am going to just start saying asshole when I am pissed and not worry about the gender of the person. lol
First, what is slut? Why is it usually only a word used toward a woman? Is it bad to be a slut? The best definition of a slut is someone who is sexually promiscuous. Typically referring to women. I have stated many times before that I think women can be ruthless bitches and by no means is this post because I am some feminist that think only women rule the world. I think there is a need for both sexes, and frankly the world boring without men. Women are considered sluts if they sleep around and men are considered cool. What? Women are sluts if there clothes are too tight and skirts are too short and men are just considered to have made a bad wardrobe choice. What the fuck? Sluts are sluts... if you are sexually promiscuous you are sexually promiscuous. It doesn't matter if you have a penis or a vagina. Is it bad to be a slut? Who decides what is right or wrong anyway? Who decides what moral compass we should follow? I think those are just rhetorical questions I have been asking myself lately. The questions are probably less about being a slut and more about who makes the rules we follow sexually. Is it the church we belong to (just to clarify I do not belong to a church), our parents, god, our friends that decide the morals we follow? I frankly believe our morals come from a combination of all or some of the above. I also want to point out that I am not suggesting to go out and be crazy and have unprotected sex. I think everything should be safe. I am saying that I think a lot of who we are is decided by other people's values. What makes their values right for you or me?
Now, I am going to talk about the word cunt! As one have my favorite gay boys said "cunts are nasty." lol I am not saying that they are but it is another word used toward woman in a negative way. I wonder again if guys can be cunts. I realize the true definition of a cunt is referring to a woman's genitalia. Now, with that alone it probably shouldn't be used toward men. In the everyday world we use it to say that someone is being more than just a bitch. Now, I know a lot guys and yes they can be cunts as well. I actually hate the word, but sometimes it is the best description for people that are rude ignorant assholes. I know when I am really pissed at another woman I will use the word cunt and you know that it is serious business. I am not saying it is right I am saying it just gets the point across. It is like a secret code when a woman says it to another woman to "back the fuck up bitch" by just using one word. I have decided that I am going to just start saying asshole when I am pissed and not worry about the gender of the person. lol
January 8, 2010
You Need To Take Them For A Test Ride Before You Pick The Right Model
Get your mind out of the gutter. For once am not talking about a penis. I am actually talking about the bike I want for the triathlon. I think I have the expensive beauty all picked out. I just have to wait until the weather gets better and take my top 3 choices out for a test ride. I never realized how many styles of bikes that are out there. The colors alone are too much. I think a pretty pink bike with a basket in the front would be great. Just kidding, I will probably just get a black bike.
I haven't really shared much about my trip home at Christmas, but a couple of funny things happened. First, my mom bought me new cookware. That seems like a nice gift right? I love the gift, but cooking not so much. It isn't that I can't cook. I just don't enjoy it. It seems like a big mess for 15 minutes of enjoyment that leads to another mess. I live in a really small apartment and I think I will pass. My mom asked me yesterday if I enjoyed my new cookware and my response was I will let you know when you visit me and cook something.
I also got a lot of new computer equipment for xmas. I actually really needed it to make the book process go even better. I got a new web cam and it is still in the package. I think I am possibly I little scared to install it to my computer. The reason I got it is because after I get back from California I will have a weekly video conference with the ghost writer and editor. I keep getting asked if the web cam is going to lead to a new career and more chapters in the book. Maybe that is my fear. Who knows, but it is still in the package three weeks later. It is really nice to. That is the perks of having a sister and brother-in-law that own a computer store. I think having my mom ask me everyday if she is going to see my naked ass on the Internet is what is keeping me from even dealing with it. lol
Just a couple of weeks and I will be Los Angeles doing what I love. Working on my book. I am at a very happy point in my life. I couldn't ask for anything else. Of course, I don't want to stop growing as a person. I am just really enjoying the whole adventure. It really is an adventure.
I haven't really shared much about my trip home at Christmas, but a couple of funny things happened. First, my mom bought me new cookware. That seems like a nice gift right? I love the gift, but cooking not so much. It isn't that I can't cook. I just don't enjoy it. It seems like a big mess for 15 minutes of enjoyment that leads to another mess. I live in a really small apartment and I think I will pass. My mom asked me yesterday if I enjoyed my new cookware and my response was I will let you know when you visit me and cook something.
I also got a lot of new computer equipment for xmas. I actually really needed it to make the book process go even better. I got a new web cam and it is still in the package. I think I am possibly I little scared to install it to my computer. The reason I got it is because after I get back from California I will have a weekly video conference with the ghost writer and editor. I keep getting asked if the web cam is going to lead to a new career and more chapters in the book. Maybe that is my fear. Who knows, but it is still in the package three weeks later. It is really nice to. That is the perks of having a sister and brother-in-law that own a computer store. I think having my mom ask me everyday if she is going to see my naked ass on the Internet is what is keeping me from even dealing with it. lol
Just a couple of weeks and I will be Los Angeles doing what I love. Working on my book. I am at a very happy point in my life. I couldn't ask for anything else. Of course, I don't want to stop growing as a person. I am just really enjoying the whole adventure. It really is an adventure.
January 6, 2010
You Walk With The Lord I Walk With My Friends To The Strip Club
Sometimes the people we encounter are very interesting that make you think. I recently had a conversation with someone about my blog and this person mentioned that my blog is a bit controversial. At first I thought that wasn't true. I thought I am really kind of boring and just live my life. Then I thought about it a little more and I do talk about things that are kind of cliche' and "forbidden" to talk about.
I have decided from the beginning of the entire book writing process that I would be true to myself and talk about what I want. I also know people might think that makes me a bit crazy. Aren't we all a little crazy anyway? I have found a couple of my friends aren't really that supportive of me just putting stuff out there and not wanting me to push the limits. I think there is some confusion. My whole book pushes the limit. The book is going to be brilliant when it is finished. The blog is different it is an outlet to share my thoughts, get ideas, and just keep it real.
I have a particular friend who thinks that I should apologize for who I am and what my book is about. I won't do that. That is the funny part about people they think they live such a better life and really all they do is judge and look down on other people. I will not now or ever apologize for who I am and what I did in the past or what I am doing now.
My book will talk about god, religion, sex, heart break, and many other things that people think are off limits. I will never live my life thinking that things are off limits. I spent too many years brainwashed and god crazy so now that I realize the world actually exists I will talk about whatever I want. That may seem cocky it really just means I am confident. I have the right people supporting me and that is what is important. So, if you want to judge that is ok. I will continue to be true to myself. If that means me going to the strip club and talking about it then so be it. At least I don't walk around thinking I am better than I am or someone I am not. I have a full understanding of who I am.
I have decided from the beginning of the entire book writing process that I would be true to myself and talk about what I want. I also know people might think that makes me a bit crazy. Aren't we all a little crazy anyway? I have found a couple of my friends aren't really that supportive of me just putting stuff out there and not wanting me to push the limits. I think there is some confusion. My whole book pushes the limit. The book is going to be brilliant when it is finished. The blog is different it is an outlet to share my thoughts, get ideas, and just keep it real.
I have a particular friend who thinks that I should apologize for who I am and what my book is about. I won't do that. That is the funny part about people they think they live such a better life and really all they do is judge and look down on other people. I will not now or ever apologize for who I am and what I did in the past or what I am doing now.
My book will talk about god, religion, sex, heart break, and many other things that people think are off limits. I will never live my life thinking that things are off limits. I spent too many years brainwashed and god crazy so now that I realize the world actually exists I will talk about whatever I want. That may seem cocky it really just means I am confident. I have the right people supporting me and that is what is important. So, if you want to judge that is ok. I will continue to be true to myself. If that means me going to the strip club and talking about it then so be it. At least I don't walk around thinking I am better than I am or someone I am not. I have a full understanding of who I am.
January 3, 2010
Fuck Clearly Wasn't The Right Choice
As I said before I don't believe in New Years Resolutions. If I need to fix something I need to fix it. I shouldn't wait. I realize as human beings that we always need to better ourselves. I said in the post before this one I wanted to stop saying "fuck" so much. Forget it...I can't do it.lol At one minute after the new year rang in I looked at my very drunk friend and said "you are a drunk mess you need to fucking go home." I have been drunk plenty of times, but this was another level. So, I will continue to work on not drinking soda and training for the triathlon. Fuck is back in my vocabulary. lol
I am going to switch gears and share something that is a little more serious. I probably should have made this a different post. I have been reading a lot of posts on FB and other people's blogs and just in general listening to people. It is sad to listen to all the unhappy people. I don't mean that in a rude way, but there are a lot of unhappy people out there. I guess I am really lucky because I am normally pretty happy. I have my struggles every day like everyone, but over all I wake up looking forward to life. Even people I consider very close to me that post that they want to be happy in 2010. I sometimes think either I am living in denial or not in touch with reality or something. I am happy and it is hard to see how many people are not. I think one of the reasons that I am happy is because I had a horrible relationship in my life for about 4 years and I was always worried about the other person's needs and always put myself last. Well, through the course of some very difficult circumstances and decisions I cut that person out of my life. I then took care of myself and put my needs first. I know that might sound incredibly selfish, but we have only one chance at this life thing and I want to enjoy it. I do care about my close personal friends and relationships and I would do anything for them. I am just at a point in my life that I will not allow people who are full of drama and bitterness around me. I would never turn my back on my loved one's either if they were going through a hard time. It is a fine balance.
I also have to say thanks to my supporters of my book and blog. I hope that 2010 is happy for you. As crazy as this year is going to be for me I don't take it lightly that you support me.
I am going to switch gears and share something that is a little more serious. I probably should have made this a different post. I have been reading a lot of posts on FB and other people's blogs and just in general listening to people. It is sad to listen to all the unhappy people. I don't mean that in a rude way, but there are a lot of unhappy people out there. I guess I am really lucky because I am normally pretty happy. I have my struggles every day like everyone, but over all I wake up looking forward to life. Even people I consider very close to me that post that they want to be happy in 2010. I sometimes think either I am living in denial or not in touch with reality or something. I am happy and it is hard to see how many people are not. I think one of the reasons that I am happy is because I had a horrible relationship in my life for about 4 years and I was always worried about the other person's needs and always put myself last. Well, through the course of some very difficult circumstances and decisions I cut that person out of my life. I then took care of myself and put my needs first. I know that might sound incredibly selfish, but we have only one chance at this life thing and I want to enjoy it. I do care about my close personal friends and relationships and I would do anything for them. I am just at a point in my life that I will not allow people who are full of drama and bitterness around me. I would never turn my back on my loved one's either if they were going through a hard time. It is a fine balance.
I also have to say thanks to my supporters of my book and blog. I hope that 2010 is happy for you. As crazy as this year is going to be for me I don't take it lightly that you support me.
December 30, 2009
2009 Was A Good Year
This has been a good year for me. I had my 3rd knee surgery that was very successful and I am having no problems from it. I also had a horrible foot injury right after that healed very nicely. I am more close to my family now than I ever have been. I think my book might be freaking my mom out a little. She is doing the best she can. Of course, I blog about how much I love my friends all the time and nothing has changed there. I love how much time I do get to spend in California because of the book.
Not everything has been a bed of roses. I have had my share of trials and tribulations as well. I have found not putting my entire focus on that stuff has helped me stay happy. As I blogged about in one of my very first blogs being played was an uncomfortable situation for me this year, but I have since considered the source of that situation and blame myself for most of it. I should have trusted myself and not given into emotion or bullshit. We all live and learn.
I really don't believe in new years resolutions, but I have been reminded that I need to change a few things. The first one being that I say "fuck" too much. I say it a lot so I am going to do my best to not use the word as much. (I will not succeed at this I am sure of it) The other major thing that I am going to stop doing is something that my power suit consultant wants me to stop doing and that is I drink to much soda. I love it. It is my worst habit and I decided that will be the habit I try to kick starting now. I have decided to do something else that I have always wanted to do. I decided that I am going to start training for the Chicago Triathlon. I have already ran the Chicago marathon so the triathlon is next on my list of things I want to accomplish. I will have absolutely no time for this in 2010. That will keep me even more focused.
On the book front, I leave for LA in a few weeks with a lot of stuff to do. I am sort of in shock knowing at the end of 2010 I will be an author with a book in bookstores. That really excites me. 2010 could be very interesting for me. Hopefully, I will successfully complete the triathlon, maybe I will reside on the west coast, maybe I will be a dominatrix for fun. Who knows, but the sky is the limit. I know my entire life will change in 2010. Part of me is nervous, but most of me is so excited just to enjoy the journey!! Happy New Year!!
Not everything has been a bed of roses. I have had my share of trials and tribulations as well. I have found not putting my entire focus on that stuff has helped me stay happy. As I blogged about in one of my very first blogs being played was an uncomfortable situation for me this year, but I have since considered the source of that situation and blame myself for most of it. I should have trusted myself and not given into emotion or bullshit. We all live and learn.
I really don't believe in new years resolutions, but I have been reminded that I need to change a few things. The first one being that I say "fuck" too much. I say it a lot so I am going to do my best to not use the word as much. (I will not succeed at this I am sure of it) The other major thing that I am going to stop doing is something that my power suit consultant wants me to stop doing and that is I drink to much soda. I love it. It is my worst habit and I decided that will be the habit I try to kick starting now. I have decided to do something else that I have always wanted to do. I decided that I am going to start training for the Chicago Triathlon. I have already ran the Chicago marathon so the triathlon is next on my list of things I want to accomplish. I will have absolutely no time for this in 2010. That will keep me even more focused.
On the book front, I leave for LA in a few weeks with a lot of stuff to do. I am sort of in shock knowing at the end of 2010 I will be an author with a book in bookstores. That really excites me. 2010 could be very interesting for me. Hopefully, I will successfully complete the triathlon, maybe I will reside on the west coast, maybe I will be a dominatrix for fun. Who knows, but the sky is the limit. I know my entire life will change in 2010. Part of me is nervous, but most of me is so excited just to enjoy the journey!! Happy New Year!!
December 27, 2009
Practice Makes Perfect
We all say we have the best group of friends in the world. I hear it all the time. This is my best friend, but then 6 months later the people that said that aren't even friends anymore. Well, I am going to say it and mean it. I really do have some of the greatest friends. I know what it means to have people in my life that are loyal and trustworthy.
My best friend is not only loyal, but funny as hell. I have been friends with him for about 9 years. Things weren't always great. We actually couldn't stand each other when we first met. He thought I was a bitch and I thought he was a bitch and some how we worked that out. lol I am not really a "feelings" type of girl. I don't need to tell people how I feel every 5 minutes and talk though issues. That is possibly because I hang out with guys most of the time. If I end up talking about how I feel that means it really is a problem. A lot of things happen in 9 years. From broken hearts to broken doors he has seen it all. The best part about him is that I can be who I want without games or judgement.
The reason I decided to blog about him is because he has a huge place in my book. Sometimes, I think I should have just written my book on the last 9 years of phone conversations and text messages we have had. There is not a conversation that goes by without us talking about sex or something along those lines. We have had a lot of talks about some of the craziest shit. We live by one rule. Everything goes if you want to say it or ask it then by all means don't hold back. I tend to do a lot more asking then telling but nothing is off limits.
His response to me if I want to try something new is "just practice"... If I would practice all the times he has told me that I would possibly have to quit my job. lol I think having a friendship like this one has helped me be more fun and open about things most people don't talk about. So, when I become a master at the latest skill I am practicing I will let you know. It should be interesting. So, thanks Michael for making our friendship real, fun, and entertaining.
My best friend is not only loyal, but funny as hell. I have been friends with him for about 9 years. Things weren't always great. We actually couldn't stand each other when we first met. He thought I was a bitch and I thought he was a bitch and some how we worked that out. lol I am not really a "feelings" type of girl. I don't need to tell people how I feel every 5 minutes and talk though issues. That is possibly because I hang out with guys most of the time. If I end up talking about how I feel that means it really is a problem. A lot of things happen in 9 years. From broken hearts to broken doors he has seen it all. The best part about him is that I can be who I want without games or judgement.
The reason I decided to blog about him is because he has a huge place in my book. Sometimes, I think I should have just written my book on the last 9 years of phone conversations and text messages we have had. There is not a conversation that goes by without us talking about sex or something along those lines. We have had a lot of talks about some of the craziest shit. We live by one rule. Everything goes if you want to say it or ask it then by all means don't hold back. I tend to do a lot more asking then telling but nothing is off limits.
His response to me if I want to try something new is "just practice"... If I would practice all the times he has told me that I would possibly have to quit my job. lol I think having a friendship like this one has helped me be more fun and open about things most people don't talk about. So, when I become a master at the latest skill I am practicing I will let you know. It should be interesting. So, thanks Michael for making our friendship real, fun, and entertaining.
December 21, 2009
Get Me The Fuck Out Of Here
I mean that... I can't wait to go to California in a few weeks. I was just there, but I am going again. There is a lot to do this time. Last time I spent most of the time meeting the people who would be involved in the project and brainstorming ideas. I am not usually nervous, but I was physically ill the whole day before I met with the editor. This time is much different. I have to go and get a mass amount of writing done. I seem more focused when I am there. I know I have a lot riding on the time I spend LA in January.
Things on the book front have been going well over all. I feel extremely accountable for what I do and do not get done now. I wish I was more of a gifted writer. I find my myself more funny when I talk then when I write. I really try not to take myself that serious, but I am a perfectionist and writing is not that easy. I do know the final product will be amazing.
I am excited to get out of this shitty weather and write by the ocean. I enjoy that most of the time I spend there can be outside. I really didn't go out to bars when I was there in October, but I did go out one night and saw 2 strippers from Chicago that I knew. I just can't escape strippers. :)
Things on the book front have been going well over all. I feel extremely accountable for what I do and do not get done now. I wish I was more of a gifted writer. I find my myself more funny when I talk then when I write. I really try not to take myself that serious, but I am a perfectionist and writing is not that easy. I do know the final product will be amazing.
I am excited to get out of this shitty weather and write by the ocean. I enjoy that most of the time I spend there can be outside. I really didn't go out to bars when I was there in October, but I did go out one night and saw 2 strippers from Chicago that I knew. I just can't escape strippers. :)
December 17, 2009
The Power Suit
So you ask what is the power suit? You already know. My dear friend taught me that a woman should always wear matching panties and bra. I usually just wore the same color and called it a day. Her theory is that it has to match and it needs to be like a suit. I thought everyday isn't that a little extreme. Personally I hate underwear (just because I hate it doesn't mean I don't wear it lol) so just the thought of that seemed like a lot of work. The bra is kind of a non negotiable in my world. I think they are necessary. :)
The power suit can help out with many things. First, you can shock people by bringing it up in conversation. Some people think talking about bras and panties is like talking about sex. Please I think if people would just talk about what they wanted to instead of worrying about what other people thought we would have a lot more fun. I do believe that there is a time and place for everything, but why not talk about it. I could care less that anyone that reads this knows I hate underwear.
Next, she says that is boosts your self esteem. That is probably true. I do feel more confident when I know you don't now what I am wearing under my clothes. It gives me that frisky edge and probably makes me a little more playful. She really should write a guide on the power suit.
The biggest thing she says is that you are guaranteed to get "lucky" if you work the power suit. I didn't think I needed a power suit for that, but I thought hell why not I can try out this theory to! This is actually my favorite theory. Trust me I have tried it and I have good news to report. It works. I wish all of you could have been a part of our numerous conversations about this topic. I have been in tears from laughing so hard at her.
I now know that a well thought out bra and panty selection can make me very happy. I mean that in every sense of the word happy. I am a pretty open person about most things, obviously this post was meant to be silly. This blog is for my power suit consultant. Love ya! You are in my thoughts today!
The power suit can help out with many things. First, you can shock people by bringing it up in conversation. Some people think talking about bras and panties is like talking about sex. Please I think if people would just talk about what they wanted to instead of worrying about what other people thought we would have a lot more fun. I do believe that there is a time and place for everything, but why not talk about it. I could care less that anyone that reads this knows I hate underwear.
Next, she says that is boosts your self esteem. That is probably true. I do feel more confident when I know you don't now what I am wearing under my clothes. It gives me that frisky edge and probably makes me a little more playful. She really should write a guide on the power suit.
The biggest thing she says is that you are guaranteed to get "lucky" if you work the power suit. I didn't think I needed a power suit for that, but I thought hell why not I can try out this theory to! This is actually my favorite theory. Trust me I have tried it and I have good news to report. It works. I wish all of you could have been a part of our numerous conversations about this topic. I have been in tears from laughing so hard at her.
I now know that a well thought out bra and panty selection can make me very happy. I mean that in every sense of the word happy. I am a pretty open person about most things, obviously this post was meant to be silly. This blog is for my power suit consultant. Love ya! You are in my thoughts today!
December 11, 2009
Secret Desire
Hopefully, this is the day that my mom decides not to read my blog. Just kidding she knows that I have a secret desire to be a Dominatrix. I think it is completely fascinating and somethng I have always wanted to try. People have some crazy fetishes and why not help them live out their "secret sins" I am not really that shy, but I might be a little shy for this. I think since we only get one chance at life why not try everything we want to. Maybe I could write another book on that. It could be called From Bibles to Beatings. lol
December 9, 2009
This Will Be My Future
I have decided that I can't stand the winter weather in Chicago. I must live somewhere warm with a beach and palm trees. It is depressing to think for the next 3 or 4 months it will be horrible weather here. I love Chicago!! The summers are off the charts. The winter depression just isn't worth it anymore. I need warmth and sunshine on a consistent basis!
December 5, 2009
My Mind Is On Overload
This has kind of been a shitty week for many reasons. First, I got an email on my personal email from someone who is very close to me that said they will read my blog, but won't follow it because I put to much personal information on here. My response to that is that I really don't. My blog is going to read like a journal entry. It is completely different from my book. My book will be matter of fact and I will be telling the story. My blog is how I feel and what is going through my head. To some it might seem like I am crazy to me it is an outlet to express how I am doing on the journey to write my book. Sometimes what I have to say isn't about hearts and rainbows. Sometimes things are just shitty. It doesn't mean I am not happy it just means I am human. I won't sugar coat anything that I am feeling on here, but I won't ever put anyone's name on my blog to hurt or embarrass them in any way.
Once again it is no wonder I hang out with boys all the time because women can be so fucking ruthless. They think they can say and do anything to other women. The best thing about hanging out with a bunch of boys they generally don't have an expectation. If they get pissed they get over it in either 5 minutes or just punch the person they are mad at and its over. Not women they have to play out the drama for days and days. Get 10 other women involved and never get over it. I have just decided that I don't have the time for it anymore.
If that isn't enough for the week, my aunt who I haven't talked to for years is now asking my mother for info about me. I cut her out of my life when I cut my dad out. She is his sister and I found no reason to be tortured by these people anymore. She thinks it is my fault for what happened with my dad. What is interesting about that is I was a kid and my dad was abusive.
Next week has to be a step up from this one. If not I will just stay home on my free time and write. Olive (my cat) doesn't bring me any drama!! lol
Once again it is no wonder I hang out with boys all the time because women can be so fucking ruthless. They think they can say and do anything to other women. The best thing about hanging out with a bunch of boys they generally don't have an expectation. If they get pissed they get over it in either 5 minutes or just punch the person they are mad at and its over. Not women they have to play out the drama for days and days. Get 10 other women involved and never get over it. I have just decided that I don't have the time for it anymore.
If that isn't enough for the week, my aunt who I haven't talked to for years is now asking my mother for info about me. I cut her out of my life when I cut my dad out. She is his sister and I found no reason to be tortured by these people anymore. She thinks it is my fault for what happened with my dad. What is interesting about that is I was a kid and my dad was abusive.
Next week has to be a step up from this one. If not I will just stay home on my free time and write. Olive (my cat) doesn't bring me any drama!! lol
December 3, 2009
Bible Banger
Ok so the title of this blog is a little harsh. One of my friends suggested that I tell what my book is going to be about without giving out all the details. The book is going to be about me being wrapped up in a religious cult.
I am have a very conservative background and literally I was so brainwashed and fucked up when I was younger that I only thought people needed to go to church. The book isn't about loving God or being spiritual. I find nothing wrong with either. I was involved in a church that made every decision for me and told me what and what not to do. I also went to a college that did the same thing.
The book will also tell you how out of touch with reality I was. I will also describe the transformation out of that lifestyle and what I am doing now. Getting your mind out of that trash is no joke. It has taken me a long time to feel like a human being and not a robot that is told what to do. I will also tell how going from one extreme to the other isn't the answer either. It is all about balance. I now know what it is like to enjoy my life. There is a lot more, but this is the basic idea.
I am have a very conservative background and literally I was so brainwashed and fucked up when I was younger that I only thought people needed to go to church. The book isn't about loving God or being spiritual. I find nothing wrong with either. I was involved in a church that made every decision for me and told me what and what not to do. I also went to a college that did the same thing.
The book will also tell you how out of touch with reality I was. I will also describe the transformation out of that lifestyle and what I am doing now. Getting your mind out of that trash is no joke. It has taken me a long time to feel like a human being and not a robot that is told what to do. I will also tell how going from one extreme to the other isn't the answer either. It is all about balance. I now know what it is like to enjoy my life. There is a lot more, but this is the basic idea.
December 2, 2009
Sorry Wrong Number
I feel bad for something that I did a couple of days ago. I was enjoying my day off. I decided that I needed the day to myself. So I worked out and ran errands. Nothing exciting. I really needed a day like that. I didn't want any obligations to anyone. Well right after I worked out I ordered carry out from a favorite restaurant in my neighborhood.
As I entered to pick up my food I could clearly see that a very intoxicated man was also picking up his food. (Keep in mind I had just worked out so there was NOTHING pleasant about my appearance) The very drunk guy proceeded to let me know how much he loved me and how beautiful I was. He then I asked me for my number. I was actually horrified. The restaurant was busy, he was talking loud because he was drunk, and all I wanted to do is go home. Remember all I wanted is a day to myself. Since everyone in the restaurant was now looking including the staff. I decided to be nice and give him my name and number. Knowing very well that I was going to give him the wrong number. I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to do that. I know it is rude. I found myself doing something that I would hate having done to me. Honestly, I should have just said no, but I thought the situation was embarrassing enough.
I know honesty is the best policy. I just couldn't believe the scene it was turning into. I am sure I will run into him again because that is how my luck goes. I do feel bad for the person who could be receiving a call from the drunk guy. It is never a dull moment.
As I entered to pick up my food I could clearly see that a very intoxicated man was also picking up his food. (Keep in mind I had just worked out so there was NOTHING pleasant about my appearance) The very drunk guy proceeded to let me know how much he loved me and how beautiful I was. He then I asked me for my number. I was actually horrified. The restaurant was busy, he was talking loud because he was drunk, and all I wanted to do is go home. Remember all I wanted is a day to myself. Since everyone in the restaurant was now looking including the staff. I decided to be nice and give him my name and number. Knowing very well that I was going to give him the wrong number. I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to do that. I know it is rude. I found myself doing something that I would hate having done to me. Honestly, I should have just said no, but I thought the situation was embarrassing enough.
I know honesty is the best policy. I just couldn't believe the scene it was turning into. I am sure I will run into him again because that is how my luck goes. I do feel bad for the person who could be receiving a call from the drunk guy. It is never a dull moment.
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