This has been a good year for me. I had my 3rd knee surgery that was very successful and I am having no problems from it. I also had a horrible foot injury right after that healed very nicely. I am more close to my family now than I ever have been. I think my book might be freaking my mom out a little. She is doing the best she can. Of course, I blog about how much I love my friends all the time and nothing has changed there. I love how much time I do get to spend in California because of the book.
Not everything has been a bed of roses. I have had my share of trials and tribulations as well. I have found not putting my entire focus on that stuff has helped me stay happy. As I blogged about in one of my very first blogs being played was an uncomfortable situation for me this year, but I have since considered the source of that situation and blame myself for most of it. I should have trusted myself and not given into emotion or bullshit. We all live and learn.
I really don't believe in new years resolutions, but I have been reminded that I need to change a few things. The first one being that I say "fuck" too much. I say it a lot so I am going to do my best to not use the word as much. (I will not succeed at this I am sure of it) The other major thing that I am going to stop doing is something that my power suit consultant wants me to stop doing and that is I drink to much soda. I love it. It is my worst habit and I decided that will be the habit I try to kick starting now. I have decided to do something else that I have always wanted to do. I decided that I am going to start training for the Chicago Triathlon. I have already ran the Chicago marathon so the triathlon is next on my list of things I want to accomplish. I will have absolutely no time for this in 2010. That will keep me even more focused.
On the book front, I leave for LA in a few weeks with a lot of stuff to do. I am sort of in shock knowing at the end of 2010 I will be an author with a book in bookstores. That really excites me. 2010 could be very interesting for me. Hopefully, I will successfully complete the triathlon, maybe I will reside on the west coast, maybe I will be a dominatrix for fun. Who knows, but the sky is the limit. I know my entire life will change in 2010. Part of me is nervous, but most of me is so excited just to enjoy the journey!! Happy New Year!!
December 30, 2009
December 27, 2009
Practice Makes Perfect
We all say we have the best group of friends in the world. I hear it all the time. This is my best friend, but then 6 months later the people that said that aren't even friends anymore. Well, I am going to say it and mean it. I really do have some of the greatest friends. I know what it means to have people in my life that are loyal and trustworthy.
My best friend is not only loyal, but funny as hell. I have been friends with him for about 9 years. Things weren't always great. We actually couldn't stand each other when we first met. He thought I was a bitch and I thought he was a bitch and some how we worked that out. lol I am not really a "feelings" type of girl. I don't need to tell people how I feel every 5 minutes and talk though issues. That is possibly because I hang out with guys most of the time. If I end up talking about how I feel that means it really is a problem. A lot of things happen in 9 years. From broken hearts to broken doors he has seen it all. The best part about him is that I can be who I want without games or judgement.
The reason I decided to blog about him is because he has a huge place in my book. Sometimes, I think I should have just written my book on the last 9 years of phone conversations and text messages we have had. There is not a conversation that goes by without us talking about sex or something along those lines. We have had a lot of talks about some of the craziest shit. We live by one rule. Everything goes if you want to say it or ask it then by all means don't hold back. I tend to do a lot more asking then telling but nothing is off limits.
His response to me if I want to try something new is "just practice"... If I would practice all the times he has told me that I would possibly have to quit my job. lol I think having a friendship like this one has helped me be more fun and open about things most people don't talk about. So, when I become a master at the latest skill I am practicing I will let you know. It should be interesting. So, thanks Michael for making our friendship real, fun, and entertaining.
My best friend is not only loyal, but funny as hell. I have been friends with him for about 9 years. Things weren't always great. We actually couldn't stand each other when we first met. He thought I was a bitch and I thought he was a bitch and some how we worked that out. lol I am not really a "feelings" type of girl. I don't need to tell people how I feel every 5 minutes and talk though issues. That is possibly because I hang out with guys most of the time. If I end up talking about how I feel that means it really is a problem. A lot of things happen in 9 years. From broken hearts to broken doors he has seen it all. The best part about him is that I can be who I want without games or judgement.
The reason I decided to blog about him is because he has a huge place in my book. Sometimes, I think I should have just written my book on the last 9 years of phone conversations and text messages we have had. There is not a conversation that goes by without us talking about sex or something along those lines. We have had a lot of talks about some of the craziest shit. We live by one rule. Everything goes if you want to say it or ask it then by all means don't hold back. I tend to do a lot more asking then telling but nothing is off limits.
His response to me if I want to try something new is "just practice"... If I would practice all the times he has told me that I would possibly have to quit my job. lol I think having a friendship like this one has helped me be more fun and open about things most people don't talk about. So, when I become a master at the latest skill I am practicing I will let you know. It should be interesting. So, thanks Michael for making our friendship real, fun, and entertaining.
December 21, 2009
Get Me The Fuck Out Of Here
I mean that... I can't wait to go to California in a few weeks. I was just there, but I am going again. There is a lot to do this time. Last time I spent most of the time meeting the people who would be involved in the project and brainstorming ideas. I am not usually nervous, but I was physically ill the whole day before I met with the editor. This time is much different. I have to go and get a mass amount of writing done. I seem more focused when I am there. I know I have a lot riding on the time I spend LA in January.
Things on the book front have been going well over all. I feel extremely accountable for what I do and do not get done now. I wish I was more of a gifted writer. I find my myself more funny when I talk then when I write. I really try not to take myself that serious, but I am a perfectionist and writing is not that easy. I do know the final product will be amazing.
I am excited to get out of this shitty weather and write by the ocean. I enjoy that most of the time I spend there can be outside. I really didn't go out to bars when I was there in October, but I did go out one night and saw 2 strippers from Chicago that I knew. I just can't escape strippers. :)
Things on the book front have been going well over all. I feel extremely accountable for what I do and do not get done now. I wish I was more of a gifted writer. I find my myself more funny when I talk then when I write. I really try not to take myself that serious, but I am a perfectionist and writing is not that easy. I do know the final product will be amazing.
I am excited to get out of this shitty weather and write by the ocean. I enjoy that most of the time I spend there can be outside. I really didn't go out to bars when I was there in October, but I did go out one night and saw 2 strippers from Chicago that I knew. I just can't escape strippers. :)
December 17, 2009
The Power Suit
So you ask what is the power suit? You already know. My dear friend taught me that a woman should always wear matching panties and bra. I usually just wore the same color and called it a day. Her theory is that it has to match and it needs to be like a suit. I thought everyday isn't that a little extreme. Personally I hate underwear (just because I hate it doesn't mean I don't wear it lol) so just the thought of that seemed like a lot of work. The bra is kind of a non negotiable in my world. I think they are necessary. :)
The power suit can help out with many things. First, you can shock people by bringing it up in conversation. Some people think talking about bras and panties is like talking about sex. Please I think if people would just talk about what they wanted to instead of worrying about what other people thought we would have a lot more fun. I do believe that there is a time and place for everything, but why not talk about it. I could care less that anyone that reads this knows I hate underwear.
Next, she says that is boosts your self esteem. That is probably true. I do feel more confident when I know you don't now what I am wearing under my clothes. It gives me that frisky edge and probably makes me a little more playful. She really should write a guide on the power suit.
The biggest thing she says is that you are guaranteed to get "lucky" if you work the power suit. I didn't think I needed a power suit for that, but I thought hell why not I can try out this theory to! This is actually my favorite theory. Trust me I have tried it and I have good news to report. It works. I wish all of you could have been a part of our numerous conversations about this topic. I have been in tears from laughing so hard at her.
I now know that a well thought out bra and panty selection can make me very happy. I mean that in every sense of the word happy. I am a pretty open person about most things, obviously this post was meant to be silly. This blog is for my power suit consultant. Love ya! You are in my thoughts today!
The power suit can help out with many things. First, you can shock people by bringing it up in conversation. Some people think talking about bras and panties is like talking about sex. Please I think if people would just talk about what they wanted to instead of worrying about what other people thought we would have a lot more fun. I do believe that there is a time and place for everything, but why not talk about it. I could care less that anyone that reads this knows I hate underwear.
Next, she says that is boosts your self esteem. That is probably true. I do feel more confident when I know you don't now what I am wearing under my clothes. It gives me that frisky edge and probably makes me a little more playful. She really should write a guide on the power suit.
The biggest thing she says is that you are guaranteed to get "lucky" if you work the power suit. I didn't think I needed a power suit for that, but I thought hell why not I can try out this theory to! This is actually my favorite theory. Trust me I have tried it and I have good news to report. It works. I wish all of you could have been a part of our numerous conversations about this topic. I have been in tears from laughing so hard at her.
I now know that a well thought out bra and panty selection can make me very happy. I mean that in every sense of the word happy. I am a pretty open person about most things, obviously this post was meant to be silly. This blog is for my power suit consultant. Love ya! You are in my thoughts today!
December 11, 2009
Secret Desire
Hopefully, this is the day that my mom decides not to read my blog. Just kidding she knows that I have a secret desire to be a Dominatrix. I think it is completely fascinating and somethng I have always wanted to try. People have some crazy fetishes and why not help them live out their "secret sins" I am not really that shy, but I might be a little shy for this. I think since we only get one chance at life why not try everything we want to. Maybe I could write another book on that. It could be called From Bibles to Beatings. lol
December 9, 2009
This Will Be My Future
I have decided that I can't stand the winter weather in Chicago. I must live somewhere warm with a beach and palm trees. It is depressing to think for the next 3 or 4 months it will be horrible weather here. I love Chicago!! The summers are off the charts. The winter depression just isn't worth it anymore. I need warmth and sunshine on a consistent basis!
December 5, 2009
My Mind Is On Overload
This has kind of been a shitty week for many reasons. First, I got an email on my personal email from someone who is very close to me that said they will read my blog, but won't follow it because I put to much personal information on here. My response to that is that I really don't. My blog is going to read like a journal entry. It is completely different from my book. My book will be matter of fact and I will be telling the story. My blog is how I feel and what is going through my head. To some it might seem like I am crazy to me it is an outlet to express how I am doing on the journey to write my book. Sometimes what I have to say isn't about hearts and rainbows. Sometimes things are just shitty. It doesn't mean I am not happy it just means I am human. I won't sugar coat anything that I am feeling on here, but I won't ever put anyone's name on my blog to hurt or embarrass them in any way.
Once again it is no wonder I hang out with boys all the time because women can be so fucking ruthless. They think they can say and do anything to other women. The best thing about hanging out with a bunch of boys they generally don't have an expectation. If they get pissed they get over it in either 5 minutes or just punch the person they are mad at and its over. Not women they have to play out the drama for days and days. Get 10 other women involved and never get over it. I have just decided that I don't have the time for it anymore.
If that isn't enough for the week, my aunt who I haven't talked to for years is now asking my mother for info about me. I cut her out of my life when I cut my dad out. She is his sister and I found no reason to be tortured by these people anymore. She thinks it is my fault for what happened with my dad. What is interesting about that is I was a kid and my dad was abusive.
Next week has to be a step up from this one. If not I will just stay home on my free time and write. Olive (my cat) doesn't bring me any drama!! lol
Once again it is no wonder I hang out with boys all the time because women can be so fucking ruthless. They think they can say and do anything to other women. The best thing about hanging out with a bunch of boys they generally don't have an expectation. If they get pissed they get over it in either 5 minutes or just punch the person they are mad at and its over. Not women they have to play out the drama for days and days. Get 10 other women involved and never get over it. I have just decided that I don't have the time for it anymore.
If that isn't enough for the week, my aunt who I haven't talked to for years is now asking my mother for info about me. I cut her out of my life when I cut my dad out. She is his sister and I found no reason to be tortured by these people anymore. She thinks it is my fault for what happened with my dad. What is interesting about that is I was a kid and my dad was abusive.
Next week has to be a step up from this one. If not I will just stay home on my free time and write. Olive (my cat) doesn't bring me any drama!! lol
December 3, 2009
Bible Banger
Ok so the title of this blog is a little harsh. One of my friends suggested that I tell what my book is going to be about without giving out all the details. The book is going to be about me being wrapped up in a religious cult.
I am have a very conservative background and literally I was so brainwashed and fucked up when I was younger that I only thought people needed to go to church. The book isn't about loving God or being spiritual. I find nothing wrong with either. I was involved in a church that made every decision for me and told me what and what not to do. I also went to a college that did the same thing.
The book will also tell you how out of touch with reality I was. I will also describe the transformation out of that lifestyle and what I am doing now. Getting your mind out of that trash is no joke. It has taken me a long time to feel like a human being and not a robot that is told what to do. I will also tell how going from one extreme to the other isn't the answer either. It is all about balance. I now know what it is like to enjoy my life. There is a lot more, but this is the basic idea.
I am have a very conservative background and literally I was so brainwashed and fucked up when I was younger that I only thought people needed to go to church. The book isn't about loving God or being spiritual. I find nothing wrong with either. I was involved in a church that made every decision for me and told me what and what not to do. I also went to a college that did the same thing.
The book will also tell you how out of touch with reality I was. I will also describe the transformation out of that lifestyle and what I am doing now. Getting your mind out of that trash is no joke. It has taken me a long time to feel like a human being and not a robot that is told what to do. I will also tell how going from one extreme to the other isn't the answer either. It is all about balance. I now know what it is like to enjoy my life. There is a lot more, but this is the basic idea.
December 2, 2009
Sorry Wrong Number
I feel bad for something that I did a couple of days ago. I was enjoying my day off. I decided that I needed the day to myself. So I worked out and ran errands. Nothing exciting. I really needed a day like that. I didn't want any obligations to anyone. Well right after I worked out I ordered carry out from a favorite restaurant in my neighborhood.
As I entered to pick up my food I could clearly see that a very intoxicated man was also picking up his food. (Keep in mind I had just worked out so there was NOTHING pleasant about my appearance) The very drunk guy proceeded to let me know how much he loved me and how beautiful I was. He then I asked me for my number. I was actually horrified. The restaurant was busy, he was talking loud because he was drunk, and all I wanted to do is go home. Remember all I wanted is a day to myself. Since everyone in the restaurant was now looking including the staff. I decided to be nice and give him my name and number. Knowing very well that I was going to give him the wrong number. I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to do that. I know it is rude. I found myself doing something that I would hate having done to me. Honestly, I should have just said no, but I thought the situation was embarrassing enough.
I know honesty is the best policy. I just couldn't believe the scene it was turning into. I am sure I will run into him again because that is how my luck goes. I do feel bad for the person who could be receiving a call from the drunk guy. It is never a dull moment.
As I entered to pick up my food I could clearly see that a very intoxicated man was also picking up his food. (Keep in mind I had just worked out so there was NOTHING pleasant about my appearance) The very drunk guy proceeded to let me know how much he loved me and how beautiful I was. He then I asked me for my number. I was actually horrified. The restaurant was busy, he was talking loud because he was drunk, and all I wanted to do is go home. Remember all I wanted is a day to myself. Since everyone in the restaurant was now looking including the staff. I decided to be nice and give him my name and number. Knowing very well that I was going to give him the wrong number. I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to do that. I know it is rude. I found myself doing something that I would hate having done to me. Honestly, I should have just said no, but I thought the situation was embarrassing enough.
I know honesty is the best policy. I just couldn't believe the scene it was turning into. I am sure I will run into him again because that is how my luck goes. I do feel bad for the person who could be receiving a call from the drunk guy. It is never a dull moment.
December 1, 2009
Dear Bible Friend aka Karen
Ok sometimes facebook can be annoying. I am firm believer in keeping my shit on lock down and not allowing people I don't know to have access to it. I also have to remember I need to let people get to know me if I want to sell books. So I took a couple of the security features off.
I wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not. I learned today that it is not. I received almost 20 messages from my bible friend and her recruits. I am not even joking. Now, let me first explain that this crazy bitch has sought me out at my job, sent me numerous emails, and today was the final straw.
I know you know I have a blog now. So I am just writing this blog to you. If you need to contact me here is my email. beckysbestseller@gmail.com
If you need to call me forget it. If you visit my job anymore I will have you escorted out. Also, if you or anyone else send me an email, I will post them on here including your email address.
The funny thing is about you and your Christian ways, you are up my ass and the book isn't finished nor do you know what is in it. You are crazy and I am not standing for it it anymore. You think you know the way to Lord, but you are nothing but a hypocritical idiot. If you are lucky I might just dedicate the book to the "crazy bible bitch"
p.s. Karen, if you would like to enjoy any porn for the holidays please let me know. I have 2850 minutes donated for one of my book projects so I am sure I could spare an hour or 2.
Have a great day!!
I wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not. I learned today that it is not. I received almost 20 messages from my bible friend and her recruits. I am not even joking. Now, let me first explain that this crazy bitch has sought me out at my job, sent me numerous emails, and today was the final straw.
I know you know I have a blog now. So I am just writing this blog to you. If you need to contact me here is my email. beckysbestseller@gmail.com
If you need to call me forget it. If you visit my job anymore I will have you escorted out. Also, if you or anyone else send me an email, I will post them on here including your email address.
The funny thing is about you and your Christian ways, you are up my ass and the book isn't finished nor do you know what is in it. You are crazy and I am not standing for it it anymore. You think you know the way to Lord, but you are nothing but a hypocritical idiot. If you are lucky I might just dedicate the book to the "crazy bible bitch"
p.s. Karen, if you would like to enjoy any porn for the holidays please let me know. I have 2850 minutes donated for one of my book projects so I am sure I could spare an hour or 2.
Have a great day!!
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