Many people suggest that when you are trying to reach a goal it is much more about the journey than the destination. As I work on my book can't help but keep being reminded of the journey and those that are not going to be part of that journey. I spend most of my time happy and enjoying those around me. I feel like lately I have been constantly reminded of my dad.
Let me first say my dad is alive and he doesn't live that far from me. I have to tell you though that my dad to the outside world is a great guy. He got remarried to a crazy woman and they lived happily ever after. Not really, my dad has done some things to my sister and I that are almost unforgivable. Without getting into all the details and saving my sister from reliving it again all I can say it is bad.
All that being said I am going back to the journey. Great things have happened to me as far as the book. I have great people supporting me on the project. I know when the book is finished I will have plenty of people there to celebrate in that accomplishment. It still does not take away from the fact that my dad will not be part of it. We have not seen each other in 8 years. The reason for that is because of an incident that happened in public. At that point in my adult life I knew it was time to move forward and live a healthy life. Part of me gets a physical pain in my heart sometimes knowing that he misses everything. Almost a suffocating feeling. It has seemed to get worse lately. I know everyone who has a fucked up relationship probably feels the same way.
This situation has given me some things that I might not have ever learned otherwise. I have learned to be independent.(almost too independent)I also know what I want out of life and who I will let be part of that process. Sometimes, the journey is facing things that I really haven't thought about for a long time. I know that I will be a better person for it and an even better author.
No comments:
Post a Comment