The Book Has No Title

I thought I knew what I wanted to call the book, but the editor said ditch the title and be as creative as possible. Not having a title has helped me think outside the box and helped me decide to take the book in a different direction. I don't feel trapped writing something around a theme. Which is a great place to be.

Another amazing thing has happened to me as I write my book. I have met several authors and they have been so willing to help guide me through the process. My friend Lin is writing a book right now in Siberia. We obviously only chat over email, but she is so inspiring. She quit her job and decided to travel all around Siberia and write. In many ways I consider her so brave and a role model for people who have a dream and live it out. Me on the other hand I am a play it safe type of girl. I kept my job and writing when time allows.

I am really blessed though, I have the right people backing my book. They know what they are doing and they have my best interest in mind. I couldn't be happier with that. I wouldn't say I am a gifted writer. The best part about the book is how much I am learning about myself.

I will be going to California after the new year to really focus on the writing. I need to get a mass amount of writing done. It will be a perfect time to get away from the Midwest and enjoy writing on the beach.

Charmed

I love my closest friends. I love that they will always try to make me feel better despite what is or isn't happening in my life. The best part of this blog entry is that they are willing to change the name of things or events in my life to make me smile. We all know what charmed is...it is a funny way of saying that I got played. Trust me I didn't think it was funny at first, but now I find it kind of entertaining.

I never thought it would happen to me. I thought I was smart enough to sniff out someone who was filling my head with shit. Not the case, I found myself in a situation that I should have never been in. I should have just trusted my gut and ran away as fast as I could. Let me explain, I have a friend not a close friend, but a friend that is a good one to have. I also know this person would probably do anything for me if I needed it. Well, through the course of phone conversations and occasional run ins everything changed. (we are all adults you now what happened)

This situation has been awkward for me for many reasons. Without getting into all the boring details of that. There probably isn't a person out there who hasn't felt this way. Part of me thinks was it karma paying me a visit. I often wonder if I did someone wrong and that is why it happened. Or was it that I finally let my guard down and this is normal life. I know people get embarrassed and hurt all the time. It just sucks.

The thing is I really do have some great friends who have done everything they can to protect me and make me feel better. If it means changing the name of something that isn't so great I am happy for it!

Matters of the Heart

Many people suggest that when you are trying to reach a goal it is much more about the journey than the destination. As I work on my book can't help but keep being reminded of the journey and those that are not going to be part of that journey. I spend most of my time happy and enjoying those around me. I feel like lately I have been constantly reminded of my dad.

Let me first say my dad is alive and he doesn't live that far from me. I have to tell you though that my dad to the outside world is a great guy. He got remarried to a crazy woman and they lived happily ever after. Not really, my dad has done some things to my sister and I that are almost unforgivable. Without getting into all the details and saving my sister from reliving it again all I can say it is bad.

All that being said I am going back to the journey. Great things have happened to me as far as the book. I have great people supporting me on the project. I know when the book is finished I will have plenty of people there to celebrate in that accomplishment. It still does not take away from the fact that my dad will not be part of it. We have not seen each other in 8 years. The reason for that is because of an incident that happened in public. At that point in my adult life I knew it was time to move forward and live a healthy life. Part of me gets a physical pain in my heart sometimes knowing that he misses everything. Almost a suffocating feeling. It has seemed to get worse lately. I know everyone who has a fucked up relationship probably feels the same way.

This situation has given me some things that I might not have ever learned otherwise. I have learned to be independent.(almost too independent)I also know what I want out of life and who I will let be part of that process. Sometimes, the journey is facing things that I really haven't thought about for a long time. I know that I will be a better person for it and an even better author.

Book Girl Stripper Lover

So I know that people think they have their idea about what my book is going to be about! I think people think it is going to be about a crazy bar girl and a sex tell all. It was never going to be about that. At first I wanted my book to be fun and keep my readers entertained. I have changed my mind on that. I am actually going to spend much more time explaining the crazy sheltered life I led and the craziness of religion and bible bangers constantly telling me how to live my life.

I have had a lot of crazy things happen in the last few weeks that have really inspired me to go a different direction. The reason for the book is to entertain, but also to inform. I can't give all the details of my past because that would just give the whole book up!

Trust me there a lot of fun in the book and you will know why I am called the book girl stripper lover. You will probably laugh. I have lived quite a crazy couple of years. I think having a best friend that is a bartender at bar full of hot male strippers would make anyone a stripper lover. It is also not a stripper tell all. I wouldn't want them to do it me, so I am not going to do it to them.

I am excited and inpsired to write this book more than ever before. I would like write more than one book unless the crazy religious people stalk me to fucking death first.

I have so much I want to share but that is enough for today! I appreciate all the support from all of you following my blog it means a ton!

2012

Last night I had dinner with a really good friend of mine and we got on the subject 2012. I asked him if he thought that the world is going to end. The conversation took a different turn though. We started talking about would we live differently if we knew the world was going to end. Frankly, the whole subject of the world ending scares the shit out of me. I was thinking today if I really did know the world was going to end would I do things differently. Probably yes, I think I would try to let those that I really love and care about know that I do love them. Also, would I treat strangers different? Not sure! I think that what really kept sticking in my mind today was I kind of take life for granted sometimes. I really need to live a little more like it could end. I think trying to find the best in people and having great times with those you love. I decided that instead of trying to have more friends, make the friendships that I have mean something. Not that my best friends and family don't mean something now. It just means making them count even more.

Welcome to my blog!

Hi everyone! Most of you know, that my name really isn't Becky. My name is Kelly, but Becky is what my boys from the bar call me. I decided to start this blog because I am in the middle of writing my first book and thought it would just be easier to share the progress with everyone. So you ask why the "adult warning" that is because sometimes I will blog about stuff in the book that kids shouldn't read. I hope you enjoy the blog!