Thanks For All The Warm Thoughts

First, I wanted to say thank you to all of you for all your warm thoughts for my family during the past few weeks. Those of you who know me know my Grandmother passed away earlier this month. June has been a rather difficult month for me and my family, but we are making it though the difficult time.

I think I just needed to stay off the radar the past few weeks and not push the limits on things. Honestly, I have been sad. I needed some time to process life I guess.

I am not going to share all the details about what happened, but Grammy was an amazing woman. One of the things that I will miss about her the most is how easy she was to talk to. I could talk to her about anything and I do mean ANYTHING! Again, thanks for all the love!!

I Wish I Never Went To The Titty Chop Shop

This blog will be divided into 3 parts.. I should make 3 different posts, but I haven't been that faithful to this blog so lets start with one that sums up it all up. :)

Part 1 The Titty Chop Shop

Recently I was going through old photos and couldn't believe what I was seeing. About 75% of the photos people were touching my boobs. Now, what is interesting about this that my boobs used to be double the size they are now. It is true I had them chopped down. They were huge and causing me some issues. I love to run and getting a black eye while jogging wasn't what I had in mind. I am just being silly when I talk about it, but the truth is I really did want to run a marathon and the boobs were a problem. I decided several years ago that I would get them reduced and it would be a lot more comfortable. At the time I thought it was the best decision I ever made about my body. I did run a marathon and couldn't have done it with the old "girls." Now, looking back I think I should have used them for financial gain before the hacksaw came out. Don't get me wrong my boobs could still be used for the greater good lol, but the old ones could have had their own marketing strategy. This is more or less the silly part of my post, but I guess the reason I am even sharing this information is because when I made the decision I was just coming out of a crazy religious cult and never thought about using my tits to make money. Now, that I have completely changed I wonder if I would have made the same decision. I know I could make them bigger like they used to be, but frankly I am a little tired of surgery and recovery.

Part 2 My Book Update

I LOVE my book. I know I say it all the time, but it is really a fun project to me. I enjoy that it is exactly how I talk and how I think and I am not going to apologize for it. I use profanity in my book. There will be a nude photo or 2 in my book. You never know who I have asked to show some ass in my book. You might just be surprised. The book is planned to have 10 chapters and all the chapters are titled. I think I shared this in a previous post, but I changed the title the last time the editor was in Chicago. The first title I never liked and it didn't really excite me. I wouldn't have bought the book with the lame ass title. So, I was blunt as hell to my editor and said I hate the title and want to change it to..(you thought I was going to spill it) and the editor loved the new title. The thing is that I can change whatever I want with my book because it is mine, but if it is something as big as the title I can't just do that. I report to other people. That happens in business deals!

Part 3 My Knee Surgery Update

So it has been exactly 2 weeks since my knee surgery and things are moving along ok. My knee surgeon warned me that the recovery would be slow because of the type of surgery I was having. Trust me it is slow. I wouldn't say it is boring though. I have plenty of book stuff to do. I have enjoyed sleeping 8 hours a night and taking a nap everyday. I have been blessed by the love and support of my family and close friends. I have had a lunch or dinner date almost everyday. The first week of my surgery was pretty intense. I was sick as hell and couldn't really move. It didn't make for a very nice combination. The surgery was one that isn't done very often and every medical intern and resident from orthopedics was in my surgery. I am all for learning, but I literally got interviewed by almost 15 doctors who were going to be in the operating room that weren't part of the surgery. Finally, I had to say enough was enough. I have some bad ass photos of my knee and it looks like someone took a baseball bat and beat the shit out of my leg. It is really nasty. I have this machine in my apartment that bends my knee at a 60 degree angle for 6 hours a day. The machine is no joke.. The whole surgery thing has given me a bit of a reality check. I took a lot of things for granted. I never really thought about getting my mail, or cleaning my apartment, or taking a shower..but when you can't walk everything changes and it has made me really appreciate being healthy. I did get all my stitches out and that has helped some. I will be on crutches for several weeks and hopefully the swelling will go down and the bruising will get better soon. Now that I am feeling a little better I will try to be more faithful to my blog.

Fucking For Fun Or Fucking For Love

I had an interesting conversation with my mom a couple of days ago about sex. The best part about my relationship with my mom is that I can say or ask anything. Sometimes, she is shocked, but our last conversation was very interesting. I asked her if she has or could have sex with someone she didn't love. Her initial response was "I don't understand how your mind works!" I laughed and she did eventually answer the question. It then made me think even more. I guess writing my book makes me think about things 24/7. That is also why I can't sleep because my mind is going a mile a minute. lol So, the more I thought about this sex thing is it any different if you love the person or not. I think that how I feel about it is much different then most people.

I have been thinking that I am the only one that enjoys having sex with someone I am not madly in love with. I know sex with your significant other is supposed to be this great spiritual experience and maybe because I don't have kids I don't get it. I think that there are those that we enjoy having sex with more then others, but where does love play into. Of course, I have been in both situations and I happen to enjoy both scenarios. I guess when you are in a relationship the sex is familiar and safe. I find that it can get boring at times. I find having sex with someone that you aren't in love with can be a little more wild. I think that people are willing to try things that they normally wouldn't because they don't have to face the person again if you don't want. I think if you are trying something new with your partner and it isn't exactly what you thought there is the embarrassment factor you have to get over.

Now, before you send me crazy comments.. I am not suggesting to go out and screw everyone in sight. I am also not suggesting to practice unsafe sex. I believe that all sex should be safe. I know that everyone has their opinion on this, but I think it depends on how you were raised, where you raised, and what generation you are in.

What's Your Favorite Electronic?

Ok all the people that know me probably think I am going to blog about "sex toys" because lets face it sometimes they can be my favorite. Sometimes there is nothing better than the real thing and sometimes it is all about alone time. As I do enjoy my friend "the rabbit," it has brought me great satisfaction and the best part is it doesn't cheat on me and doesn't require snuggling and chit chat. This really isn't the electronic I am going to talk about though! lol



Here is the electronic that I am talking about!!



This is the electronic that really keeps me happy. I love listening to my favorite music and just escaping reality. I really do think music can change your soul. I have found my ipod to be my best traveling companion and then I don't have to interact with people. I know that sounds rude, but I get tired of being asked to join every organization under the sun, asked to buy every spa package the city has to offer, and buy peanut m&m's from the local school. The peanuts would kill me anyway. It is not that I don't want to help my local school or help save the earth. I just want to join what groups I want when I want. I just find it annoying. I also decided that downloading songs in multiple languages has been a big help. I think it is genius. So, when people start to talk to me in English I just start playing a song in a different language and turn the volume all the way up and look at who is talking to me all confused. Trust me it works!!

Just a small update on the book! As I always say the book is going amazing and damn I will be happy when it is finished. I look forward to a summer of major book writing.

Love And Loyalty

Sorry about how long it has been since I have been on here! This blog will just be an update about what has been going on and where I have been. There is so much to share and I feel like time spent on the blog should be time spent on the book. I think my editor would say the same thing. He reminds often about how much writing I have to do. So I am going to break it down into the 2 biggest things that have been going on in the book world.

LOVE: Well you all know that I love my book. I am excited to say that the book finally has a title. My book will have about 10 chapters and so far all the chapters are titled. I don't think that we will add any chapters, but after last weekend that could have added another chapter. My editor was in Chicago. I normally go to Los Angeles, but he came here for a number of reasons. I feel like it is the most creative we have been together. One funny thing he said while he was here is that I have to try to relate to "women" more if I want to sell my book to them. It is true, so I am going to do my best to embrace them more. lol I have decided that as far as my blog I am going to try to blog once a week to keep you all informed. I won't take 3 weeks to blog again. Once a week is my goal considering I have real deadlines to get the book done.

Loyalty: This has probably been the most bothersome thing I am going to share in this blog. The past few weeks I have had to reevaluate a couple of relationships in my life. I guess not being loyal is one of those things that I can't tolerate. I got pushed passed the point of no return and decided that I had to cut 2 people out of my life. I have just decided that if I live with the philosophy that we really only have one chance to make the most of our life I am not going to allow people in my life at any capacity who call themselves my friend and every chance they get stab me in the back. I know it may sound harsh, but no more. I don't ask for a lot from people. I do require loyalty. It seems so easy, but I guess sometimes we go through these life lessons to keep us on track and make us appreciate those that really love us. Trust me I want to believe that these people wouldn't stab me in the back, but it has happened several times and I just can't say it is ok anymore. So, I have decided instead of feeling like I am going to lose my mind I am going to eliminate the drama.

I am going to continue to share bits and pieces of my book in future blogs. I have some fun topics I would like to blog about! Again, thanks everyone for being supportive of my book and blog.

Get On Your Knees Bitch

This is really what I wanted the title of my book to be. It isn't though, so I can post it on my blog. Getting on your knees could imply more than one meaning. It does here as well. lol Don't get me wrong I know that religion and sex are on the "do not talk about list." That makes me want to to talk about it even more. I am getting to the point of this whole process where I realize that everyone isn't going to like what I have to say. Each time I post something I will get an email or 2 or 10 telling me to stop writing my book. The visits from my conservative, religious, closed-minded friends aren't really stopping me either. I was totally brainwashed and I want people to know that life is much more than singing hymns and going to church 7 days a week.

So as I said before getting on your knees could have more than one meaning. I will go the good girl route first and tell you where I am coming from. I think people are getting the impression that I think god is bad and I don't think people should go to church. That actually isn't what I think at all. I don't really get into organized religion. I don't buy into it is this way or you are damned to hell. I do however think that faith is important. I don't think we as humans could survive without some sort of faith in something. My point is who am I to decide that for you. The background that I come from they would make every decision for me. I mean every decision. I think what I learned about myself is that it is much easier to conform then to have a different view on things. I would have probably moved into my old church if I would have been allowed to. This is no joke, I loved being there. I was so caught up in loving god that I would judge everyone around me and honestly I wasn't very nice. Not that I am nice now (haha) I guess if people think I am mean now it is because I don't like any sort of bullshit. I realize that we will always have stupid shit in our lives, but if I detect more than there should be I can be very blunt. So, I guess getting on your knees in this case is really just a representation of prayer to what or who you pray to. I don't think there is a thing wrong with it. I am just not going to have any group tell me how think anymore or who I need to pray to.

The other kind of getting on your knees is exactly what you think it is. The dirty bad girl or boy (because everyone knows that I hang out with boys more then girls) sort of way. This is where my haters will start sending me messages. Those from my past think talking about a blow job is damnation to hell. Well, if talking about it is going to send me to hell. What about actually doing it? Is there something worse then hell? I used to be so shy and wouldn't even say the word shit. So, those who know me from both sides of the world so to speak are a little shocked when I talk. I really don't mean to shock people, but I have found certain subjects are just so taboo. I learned from a friend/mentor of mine who is already an author not to change who I am because people might not like me or might not get me. She said that I shouldn't give a fuck if people are offended that I have enjoyed sex with strippers. She also said if more people would talk about what they enjoy more people would be satisfied. I love her because no matter how crazy or out there my idea is she is fully supportive. Everyone needs a mentor like mine. It makes life a lot more interesting.

Sometimes You Might Not Like What You See When You Look In The Mirror

The blog title has nothing to do with physical attributes is has to do with who we are on the inside. Actually, who we are at the core. It has nothing to do with how pretty, smart, and skinny we are. The blog will also explain why I took a couple of week break from it. (time had some to do with it, but really I just needed a mental break)

This blog is also in response to a really nice email I got from someone who follows my blog and asked where I have been. The number one thing that I have realized in writing a book the excitement really does wear off. Since, I am not finished with the book I am not sure if this is a permanent feeling or just a rough patch. There comes a lot more pressure and I am responsible to report to people. It is a little scary if the work isn't done and I need to give it to them. I am all for hard work, so that part doesn't bother me. It is the balance thing. I want to have a "life" and spend time with my loved ones. I am still working my career job, and I know at this point every spare moment should be spent working on my book. I am someone who is usually balanced. I have great times with my friends and family, but lately in the back of mind I know time is ticking for deadlines. I am someone who holds a great value in relationships with my close friends and those who are close to me are very supportive. I am just not used to feeling this way.

The other reason I haven't been blogging is because I felt like I was losing myself in the process. That might not make sense to some people, but I will explain. I now have a whole different persona "Becky The Book Girl." What is funny about this is that when you are in the business to sell a product or even more then that yourself to get fans to buy your book it is very easy to lose who you are and get wrapped up in that. I think I sort of lost "Kelly" in the process. The thing is that I have a friend who doesn't sell books, but promotes a whole different world. I would get so irritated listening to all the made up bullshit. Looking at it now, I thought it was being completely false and I found myself doing the same thing. Really, listening to this person was really just listening to myself. I go back to the balance thing who is Kelly and who is Becky the Book Girl? I do believe people come into our lives for a reason and I just was upset with myself that I was judging someone for being dishonest and I was doing the exact same thing. In most businesses you have to promote yourself, but it is a fine balancing act to not lose who you are in the process. So that is why I haven't been blogging. I want this experience to to fun and something I look forward to. I think I am back on track and ready to be silly as ever.

Lady Emotions Suck Major Ass

I have had a hard time "feeling inspired" lately. The part about it that bothers me so much is that I have been extremely emotional lately. It's really not my thing to cry about shit. It is not because I think I am a bad ass with no heart. It is because I just make other people feel uncomfortable when I do cry. Let me first say that "lady emotions" has nothing to do with that time of the month. People seem to think that is what I am talking about. I actually took the phrase from one of my gay boys. I am not exactly sure what started it all, but I was just in a funk for a few days. (which seemed like a few weeks)

I think one thing that didn't help was that I had to interview some people for my book. Most of the interviews went great and were a lot of fun. One interview was very uncomfortable and I was a little shocked about it. I felt like the interview that was uncomfortable was several years of frustration and jealousy that came out. Thankfully I have the final say and that mess won't be in the book. I do want other people's perspective in my book, but I think that my whole book has a light hearted fun tone. The interview wasn't fun to say the least. I also think what started the in interview off on the wrong foot is the person I interviewed said they have "feelings" for someone in my past. GROSS!!

On the positive side of things I did get to go to Penny Arcade's book reading and she is simply an amazing person. I walked away thinking she is the type of person I want to be. I think we really never stop changing or evolving, but Penny is so laid back and so supportive of any artist or writer in my case. She gave me so many good ideas. I just need to try them and see how it goes. Things are looking more exciting and it was only a few days I felt "emotional" so hopefully things will keep moving in the right direction.

Is His Business Going To Hang To Low?

I think this has been a week of questions. I have been asking myself and other people a lot of them. Some of my questions are politically correct some are not. Recently, I went shopping for my best friends birthday. Now, having a guy best friend is a bit different then having a girl best friend. We really aren't that into giving each other gifts not because we don't care about each other. It is because we spend a lot of time together and that usually ends up being a lot of $ as well. I would take the great times and lots of laughs (sometimes trouble usually my fault when that happens) over gift giving any day! The past 6 months since I have had to take the book deal more serious and have traveled a lot more he has done a lot for me. He has taken care of my apartment and my kitty Olive. So, I wanted to do a little something just to say thanks. Well, the truth is that I see him mostly in his underwear because of his job so I thought that would be a good choice for a gift. Well, I went online first... damn there are more styles of mens underwear than womens. So, I walked to the store in my neighborhood that sell man panties. I walked in a little educated about what I wanted. Anyway, the sales person was very nice, but trying to sell me these absolutely horrible underwear. They were way to girly. The amount of styles was a bit overwhelming. I finally found one that I liked and I said not realizing how loud I was talking "is this one going to make his business hang too low?" Not only did the sales clerk laugh at me so did the man trying on clothes in the fitting room. At that moment I got really hot and I know that I turned bright red. I also wanted the floor to have a trap door and I wanted to fall in it. I thought my question was legitimate. It bothers me when men wear underwear that don't hold their business in place. It is sort of like a woman wearing a bra with no elastic. What's the point. So, when he wears the new underwear you all better tip him well because I embarrassed myself and can't show my face in the store ever again. I am sure I will see those people out and about and they will laugh at me.

Valentine's Day Is A Bit Much As Far As I am Concerned

Ok I know that sounds negative, but it takes a lot more than one day of the year to give a card and proclaim your love to your significant other. I also think that is just another day to throw in the faces of those who are single that they are in fact alone on another holiday.

I personally couldn't be happier in my relationship with my partner. He is a really nice guy and treats me beyond well. I guess the problem with me is that I am not a "let's talk about our feelings and emotions" girl. I have never been and at this point I probably never will. It is more or less a take it or leave it type of deal with me. I have a very few people in my life that know how I "feel", but for the most part why bother. Love to me is a simple concept and it is usually outside influences that destroy good relationships. There is always someone who thinks that they know what you should do, who you should date, or who you should be friends with. Fuck that, do what you want and love who you want is the way I see it.

I really do think valentine's day is a bit much. You really think that if you are an asshole all the time and you buy your partner a box of chocolates and a card that means you aren't an asshole anymore? Please you are still an asshole.

The Book Girl Is Getting Restless

I think this winter has taken a toll on my state of mind. I have lived in the Midwest my entire life. This winter hasn't been anything out of the ordinary, but I am just not enjoying it anymore. It seems like all I can focus on is my next trip to California or what is next. It sometimes takes those who are in my close circle of friends to pull me back in and remind me that everything will fall into place when it is suppose to. I wouldn't say it is an unhappy feeling more of I want to move on to the next phase of my life and the book isn't finished. I live my life for the most part as I have stated before as happy as possible.

I feel like I need to shake things up a little or I am going to continue to have this feeling. The last time I had this feeling I moved to Chicago and I didn't know a single person here. I am not sure if that is the answer, but I will figure it out.

A small update on the book. I have been working hard on getting things done. I have a few deadlines coming up so we will see how that goes. I am excited because I have two central characters that are going to interview me for my book. This will be a conversation more than an actual interview. It should be a lot of fun. Hopefully, it will be entertaining. Those conversations will of course be recorded and then the California team work their magic. All in all the book is going great.

Pills, Pimps, and Pole Dancers

So before I really talk about the real reason I decided to blog today, I thought I would give a brief update on my trip to California. I think if I could rate this trip on the star system...I would give it 5 out of 5 stars. The funny thing is that I was sick the entire time I was there. I left LA this time thinking we are really on to something with this book. I have been excited about this project since the beginning, but now I know that I am doing what I need to be doing. Writing is not easy for me. So, I have to be very disciplined to set time out just for the book. We spent several hours over the course of 4 days working through ideas and very detailed character descriptions. Despite the fever and horrible head cold I had the trip was a total success. Like I said before the sky is the limit!!

Now, on to the other reason that I decided to blog today. Something has been bothering me a little and I decided to just put it out there. I was out and about in the recent past and found myself feeling like I was in the twilight zone. Maybe because I was completely sober and it takes several cocktails to tolerate people anymore. It was more then being drunk. I felt like every person out that night was fucked up on some sort of drugs. I pass no judgement on any sort of drug use, but this was off the charts. To each their own, but seriously is everyone totally fucked up all the time. Even people who proclaim to never touch the stuff seemed like were so high that I couldn't imagine them getting in car and actually driving home like that.

I honestly don't care what people do. At least be responsible about it. I have been crazy drunk before and by no means is this to point the finger at anyone. I guess I just don't get it. Drunk is one thing out of your mind is another. I know people probably think this is a anti drug and alcohol message it isn't that. It is just me venting about people using their brain. People who I would say I have respect for just sucked that night! That's all!!

No More Frozen Hoo Hoo.. I Am California Bound

It has been few days since I have been on here, but I am so happy I am going to California for a few days. I always get excited to go to California. I get to work with some of the smartest people I have ever met. I love the feeling of leaving knowing that I learned something. I wouldn't say that it is a mentor/student thing. It is more like a group of peers that want to see this book succeed. I feel like I am one lucky person to have these amazing people in my life.

I have met some very interesting people in Chicago in the last week and appreciate the great conversation that came out of meeting them. I felt I got even more inspired to keep writing and make an even better book. I never realized how many people come from crazy religious backgrounds. I love sharing stories and experiences. I have really tried to open my mind when I have a conversation to realize that everyone has a story. Those stories really define who we are and where we are going.

I am so excited to work on the book, but I am also excited to get out of this freezing weather. I can't stand the winter weather. I know there is not a heat wave, but 70 degrees is better than 18 degrees. I am looking forward to posting what I learn and experience while I am in Los Angeles. I am sure there will be some great stories. I will take a few pics this time since I didn't take any last time. Chat with you all soon.

Let's Skip The Date And Just Have Sex

First, I have to say that this blog title came from my friend Michael after hours of laughter over our horrible dating experiences. I won't share names of those we dated or those who never even made it that far. Let's face it dating sucks and people act like they are someone they aren't on a date or they act like they are from another planet.

I guess what really started me thinking about how much I hate dating is when I started talking about a blind date I was set up on. I realized from that moment on I could live the rest of my life without going on another date. Just to clarify I did not say I didn't want to be in a relationship this post is only about dating. There is a huge difference. So, back to the blind date... my friend at the time said she had the perfect guy for me so I thought what the hell. I wasn't "dating" anyone at the time so I said ok. Since, I had never met the person in my life we decided to go on a double date. The 3 of them were already friends so they came to my place to pick me up. I know this is going to sound caddy, they arrived at my door and I was like ok this is interesting. Not really my type physically, but I will give it a try. So, we decided to go to a bar in my neighborhood before dinner. Not only was he not really my cup of tea. He was probably one of the most boring and hard to talk to people I have ever met. I had to make a decision at that point of what to do. It was a little late to fake an illness so I decided I would get as drunk as possible hoping that it would just go better. Well, not so much I was drunk alright. We left the bar to go to dinner. I walk out into the street and get hit by a cab. I probably would have been hurt really bad had it not been for all the cocktails. lol It wasn't what I had in mind for getting out of the date, but it sure as shit worked. Mark my word that will be my first and last blind date I will ever go on.

There is so much more about dating that is horrible. What about the people that you go on a date with that seem perfectly normal at first. You go on a couple of dates then they think that they need to call or text you every 5 minutes. I'm not really into stalkers after 2 dates.

I also appreciate going on dates with people that seem perfectly normal and once you are at dinner and show any interest they find the need to tell you that they are in love with you and you haven't even ordered your drink or appetizer. Please, what the fuck is wrong with people. There is another extreme to that, what about the people who ask you to "hang out" or go to dinner who already had multiple partners at home that didn't know that they were asking people out on dates.

I'm not sure why dating needs to be so stupid. I compare stories with people and I am not the only one. I think dating should be fun. I have been bringing up this subject on occasion just to get other people's take on dating and I have heard some crazy dating stories. It seems like dating has turned into a mess. What ever happened to going out and having a good time.

My favorite reaction to the whole dating thing was Michael. He didn't seem to like dating any more than me. His philosophy simple... "Let's skip the date and just have sex." haha!!

Slut Or Cunt...

There are a couple of words that we use all the time. Well, if you have a foul mouth like me you do. I find both the word slut and cunt very interesting. I have my thoughts and views on both words. I often find them very funny and yes I have been called both. I also use both words.

First, what is slut? Why is it usually only a word used toward a woman? Is it bad to be a slut? The best definition of a slut is someone who is sexually promiscuous. Typically referring to women. I have stated many times before that I think women can be ruthless bitches and by no means is this post because I am some feminist that think only women rule the world. I think there is a need for both sexes, and frankly the world boring without men. Women are considered sluts if they sleep around and men are considered cool. What? Women are sluts if there clothes are too tight and skirts are too short and men are just considered to have made a bad wardrobe choice. What the fuck? Sluts are sluts... if you are sexually promiscuous you are sexually promiscuous. It doesn't matter if you have a penis or a vagina. Is it bad to be a slut? Who decides what is right or wrong anyway? Who decides what moral compass we should follow? I think those are just rhetorical questions I have been asking myself lately. The questions are probably less about being a slut and more about who makes the rules we follow sexually. Is it the church we belong to (just to clarify I do not belong to a church), our parents, god, our friends that decide the morals we follow? I frankly believe our morals come from a combination of all or some of the above. I also want to point out that I am not suggesting to go out and be crazy and have unprotected sex. I think everything should be safe. I am saying that I think a lot of who we are is decided by other people's values. What makes their values right for you or me?

Now, I am going to talk about the word cunt! As one have my favorite gay boys said "cunts are nasty." lol I am not saying that they are but it is another word used toward woman in a negative way. I wonder again if guys can be cunts. I realize the true definition of a cunt is referring to a woman's genitalia. Now, with that alone it probably shouldn't be used toward men. In the everyday world we use it to say that someone is being more than just a bitch. Now, I know a lot guys and yes they can be cunts as well. I actually hate the word, but sometimes it is the best description for people that are rude ignorant assholes. I know when I am really pissed at another woman I will use the word cunt and you know that it is serious business. I am not saying it is right I am saying it just gets the point across. It is like a secret code when a woman says it to another woman to "back the fuck up bitch" by just using one word. I have decided that I am going to just start saying asshole when I am pissed and not worry about the gender of the person. lol