I had an interesting conversation with my mom a couple of days ago about sex. The best part about my relationship with my mom is that I can say or ask anything. Sometimes, she is shocked, but our last conversation was very interesting. I asked her if she has or could have sex with someone she didn't love. Her initial response was "I don't understand how your mind works!" I laughed and she did eventually answer the question. It then made me think even more. I guess writing my book makes me think about things 24/7. That is also why I can't sleep because my mind is going a mile a minute. lol So, the more I thought about this sex thing is it any different if you love the person or not. I think that how I feel about it is much different then most people.
I have been thinking that I am the only one that enjoys having sex with someone I am not madly in love with. I know sex with your significant other is supposed to be this great spiritual experience and maybe because I don't have kids I don't get it. I think that there are those that we enjoy having sex with more then others, but where does love play into. Of course, I have been in both situations and I happen to enjoy both scenarios. I guess when you are in a relationship the sex is familiar and safe. I find that it can get boring at times. I find having sex with someone that you aren't in love with can be a little more wild. I think that people are willing to try things that they normally wouldn't because they don't have to face the person again if you don't want. I think if you are trying something new with your partner and it isn't exactly what you thought there is the embarrassment factor you have to get over.
Now, before you send me crazy comments.. I am not suggesting to go out and screw everyone in sight. I am also not suggesting to practice unsafe sex. I believe that all sex should be safe. I know that everyone has their opinion on this, but I think it depends on how you were raised, where you raised, and what generation you are in.
Personally I'm not someone who can have sex with strangers or someone I am not attracted to. I'm not saying I have to "love" them, but there has to be a certain chemistry going on. It can't just be "damn, that person obviously has it going on, and I bet they'd be a great fuck!" Oddly enough I grew up in a single parent home with a mother whom was wildly promiscuous and completely open/fine with talking about sex. Also, if someone is great in the sack but I'm no longer attracted to them I have no desire to be with them anymore. I got the label of "tease" when I was younger because I had no problem making out with someone but if I wasn't fully attracted to that person it didn't go any further. But what people don't realize is this (points to self) is PRIME real estate--I'm like a "members only" club, you have to have certain credentials to get in (pun intended).
ReplyDeleteBut I certainly don't begrudge anyone for being able to just enjoy sex. Hell, there have been times where I wish I was like that. I see someone and think they're absolutely stunning, but if I'm not mentally attracted, then I feel no reason to physically be with them.