Get On Your Knees Bitch

This is really what I wanted the title of my book to be. It isn't though, so I can post it on my blog. Getting on your knees could imply more than one meaning. It does here as well. lol Don't get me wrong I know that religion and sex are on the "do not talk about list." That makes me want to to talk about it even more. I am getting to the point of this whole process where I realize that everyone isn't going to like what I have to say. Each time I post something I will get an email or 2 or 10 telling me to stop writing my book. The visits from my conservative, religious, closed-minded friends aren't really stopping me either. I was totally brainwashed and I want people to know that life is much more than singing hymns and going to church 7 days a week.

So as I said before getting on your knees could have more than one meaning. I will go the good girl route first and tell you where I am coming from. I think people are getting the impression that I think god is bad and I don't think people should go to church. That actually isn't what I think at all. I don't really get into organized religion. I don't buy into it is this way or you are damned to hell. I do however think that faith is important. I don't think we as humans could survive without some sort of faith in something. My point is who am I to decide that for you. The background that I come from they would make every decision for me. I mean every decision. I think what I learned about myself is that it is much easier to conform then to have a different view on things. I would have probably moved into my old church if I would have been allowed to. This is no joke, I loved being there. I was so caught up in loving god that I would judge everyone around me and honestly I wasn't very nice. Not that I am nice now (haha) I guess if people think I am mean now it is because I don't like any sort of bullshit. I realize that we will always have stupid shit in our lives, but if I detect more than there should be I can be very blunt. So, I guess getting on your knees in this case is really just a representation of prayer to what or who you pray to. I don't think there is a thing wrong with it. I am just not going to have any group tell me how think anymore or who I need to pray to.

The other kind of getting on your knees is exactly what you think it is. The dirty bad girl or boy (because everyone knows that I hang out with boys more then girls) sort of way. This is where my haters will start sending me messages. Those from my past think talking about a blow job is damnation to hell. Well, if talking about it is going to send me to hell. What about actually doing it? Is there something worse then hell? I used to be so shy and wouldn't even say the word shit. So, those who know me from both sides of the world so to speak are a little shocked when I talk. I really don't mean to shock people, but I have found certain subjects are just so taboo. I learned from a friend/mentor of mine who is already an author not to change who I am because people might not like me or might not get me. She said that I shouldn't give a fuck if people are offended that I have enjoyed sex with strippers. She also said if more people would talk about what they enjoy more people would be satisfied. I love her because no matter how crazy or out there my idea is she is fully supportive. Everyone needs a mentor like mine. It makes life a lot more interesting.